Bella have been feeling so sick since Sunday afternoon, with all the cramps and fever. My fever got worsen this afternoon. I reached client's place this morning, and the moment I open my laptop, I received a email stating all that I was expected to do. Never mind about that I thought to myself as long as I can finish my work maybe I can take urgent leave or MC tomorrow to rest coz I know my body is wearing out. So I rushed and did all that I could, and by the end of the day, of the long list given, only 1 was pending. And this 1 matter that is pending is simply due to the fact that I'm still waiting for client to provide me with some information before I can continue. I even helped with some other stuff with the waiting time. Then I told her (my senior) that I was thinking if nothing much is left and if it is okay for it to be outstanding since Finals is not v far away, I told her I might be taking urgent leave tomorrow. A face that shows/hint that I should not or cannot take urgent leave appeared. I just wanted to be prepared for my next job coz I don't want to have to fall even more sick in my next job, especially since I did manage to finish all that i could. Dar Dar kept asking me to go see doctor or take a day off when he knew I was suffering and trembling, but I just simply can't. =( Guess Dar Dar must be wondering why I so persistent to not go to the doctor. I can only say, I don't know how I can go...
I kept quiet about it eventually and continued to work. Nearing the end of the day, I could hold back no longer. I told her about my unhappiness in this job and my thoughts. Eventually she told me hers too. I guess after I told her how I felt, she already held hard feelings. But to me, my whole purpose of telling her is because I still have to spend the Finals audit with her. I shall not go into detail or remind myself of the things she said, but I only know I saw another face of a person whom almost all my colleagues find a nice person. Before I entered this job, many people say it should be an alright job since the senior is a nice person. I went into the job thinking so, but i left the interims with a totally different thought. A minute she can say "Oh I think you are very capable"..and the next minute after I feedback to her my thoughts, I wondered if she took it personally or what when she said "seriously I think the stuff I gave you are simple and little". Call the whole of P&L section and some B/S items in 3 days little? Tell me about it! I even tried asking myself if the problem is me coz it seems like all the others find her okie..she even asked one of my fellow colleagues in her job if he wants her to book him and do nothing and slack. But for me, even when I'm sick I can't take leave for a job I've finished like 99%. Thus, this is the reason why I said I have managed to see a "so-called nice person in many people's eyes" to turn to someone I don't see from their descriptions when she is stressed. I don't mind helping (though I guess she most probably see it that I don't want to help the moment I told her about my thoughts), but at least given adequate time and with appreciation. Afterall, I'm helping someone getting a much higher pay then me and all I get in return is "It's easy stuff" and not be appreciated that me as an assistant has gone an extra mile. Forget about any Thank You stuff but at least save the sarcastic wordings too. That will help!
Anyway, I decided to leave early today coz I've seriously finished all that I could do. Thank God I have Dar Dar to wait for me to go home with me. At least seeing him makes me feel so much better. I had lunchie with Dar Dar today too. We both were not feeling well so I suggested we have some soup for lunch (easy digestion might help). So, we went to The Soup Spoon. After lunch, I bought some stuff and we headed back to work. I feel so tired and uncomfortable after lunchie..was having fever and trembling away..but work carries on..
(My Velvety Mushroom and Dar Dar had Clam chowder soup)
(Dar Dar's Mushroom Pesto sandwich and my Smoked Salmon - end up I had Dar's while he ate mine!LOL...)
(here's me trying to smile to the mirror after the very upsetting talk..not very successful though!)
Bella wishes to apologise to my readers coz recently Bella's getting a little more grumpy due to work. But this is like one of my very few channels to pour out my woes. After all, I don't intend to bring up this unhappy encounter with anyone in office since all of them have such a wonderful impression of her. However, I know some of the colleagues do visit my blog, so hope you guys can just keep it to yourself and not mention it in office. In anyway, hope you guys understand I'm already vexed enough having such a bad relationship with her and I don't wish to have to talk about her anymore once I'm outta the job. I seriously don't care much about the appraisal she's gonna give (coz I know it wouldn't be anything fantastic when it comes out of sourness), I just want to get the job over and done with. Pray for me my readers...I need to regain my smile again. And it's not just about regaining my smile for the short period I see my Dar Dar, but to be able to smile when I'm working. I used to, and I miss it. I really do...
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